How to Deal With Grief: Yes, There Is Light

By | July 28, 2023

Freedom Under Attack

One of the things that is driving a lot of people crazy right now is the ease with which our inalienable freedoms are being taken away.

It seems unfathomable and insane. We’ve believed so naively in our hearts that due to our great luck of living in the West, we can move around as we please and say what we think. But now? Now, suddenly, we find ourselves in a place where we are just like the folks in other parts of the world where people have no meaningful rights. And our hearts scream, why is being done to us, why?!!

We are now being told to trust the Man over the evidence of our own eyes. We are told to “not do our own research” and keep our opinions to ourselves. We are told to take shorter showers and freak out about our gas stoves.

We are told to feel bad about ourselves in general — unless we are willing to let go of whatever bodily and spiritual sovereignty we’ve enjoyed up until three years ago — and replace our independent decision making with internalized enthusiasm and compliance with the barking orders of the day.

It is very hard for any human being to process the fact that our sovereign bodies are viewed by our elected and unelected rulers not as our sovereign bodies but as property of theirs. By the way, when we talk about bodily sovereignty, we often do so in the context of vaccine mandates — but the mandates are merely “their” foot in the door. “They” want more!

For example, in 2019, in a curious article titled, “Privacy in 2034: A corporation owns your DNA (and maybe your body),” Fast Company asked: “Should you have a right to keep your emotions, mental state, and other biometric details private from persistent recognition?” Oh really, should I? You are asking me that with a straight face? Well, I happen to know the correct answer to that question, and the answer is, “Yes, I should, and I do, and by the way, it’s an abusive question to ask.”

So indeed, it is very hard to process the fact that our sovereign bodies are treated by the “masters” as property of theirs. It was very hard for those who had faced such abuse in the past, and it is very hard for us.

It is hard to face the absurd “new normal” reality in which many joys of life that we’ve been taken for granted are reframed by the hirelings, the minions, and the unwitting servants of the maniacs in high chairs as “privilege” and “sin.” (It is privilege and sin if we indulge — but if the maniacs indulge, it’s fine because they are special people, and the rules that they make for the peasants don’t apply to them.)

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Shorter Showers for Us, Private Jets for the Aristocrats

Can you imagine Klaus Schwab munching on bugs? Me neither. And remember how Bill Gates responded when accused of hypocrisy over preaching “climate” while flying all over the world in his private jet? Here is his response, see the beginning of this news clip:

A Sense of Loss

Currently, there is an attempt to bulldoze over us. When intruders succeed even temporarily at bulldozing over our way of life or at taking away what’s ours, we naturally feel indignation and a sharp sense of loss.

Different people process loss differently. Some get stuck in a scream. Some get so shocked by being attacked that they become numb and “tune out.” Some don’t want to get too close to their pain and turn it into vocal rage. Some feel helpless and draw the conclusion that “good people always end up suffering, that’s just how it is.”

I think that most of us walk a long path and fall face-down a few times before we learn to deal with invasion in a way that respects the fact that yes, we’ve been wronged and it’s unfair — but the invasion does not sever our connection to the higher powers, and we are going to appeal to the higher powers to help us be our best selves and prevail.

A Personal Story: Spraying the Skies

I remember the first time I felt helpless in the face of “them” insulting my world on a massive scale. It was when I realized that geoengineering was a real thing — and that, yes, some evil people somewhere were conspiring to spray the sky and to dim the sun. It was difficult to accept that it was really happening. My sky! My beloved sun! My entire being was rebelling against the scale of the criminal endeavor. I felt helpless and didn’t know how to handle the insult.

Now, I’ve dealt with abuse on a personal level earlier in life and was not particularly thin-skinned — but there is something particularly egregious about attacking our relationship with sunlight. There is something inalienable about our connection to the sky and our ability to look up at the sun, feel its warmth on our skin and “drink” its nourishing light.

There is unspeakable joy in it, and it’s a sacrilege to mess with this joy. The fact that anyone would dare mess with it was outrageous beyond words, and hard to accept.

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Staring at my sky being crisscrossed made me feel deep grief. I couldn’t shake off the feeling of grief over it for years — and ironically, when the COVID-inspired biosecurity state rolled in like a tank, it cured me of “helpless melancholy” over the abuse of the sky. Once I got very vocal about COVID abuses (which was in April 2020), the melancholy disappeared.

I believe that learning how to deal with abuse like soul-grounded warriors is a part of the skillset that we need to obtain during these trying times. As a Soviet expat, I am mighty indignant that the totalitarian gimmicks that I thought had been left in the past are now being tried again — but as a Soviet expat, I am also not scared.

The Onset of the Abuse

When we face an invasive entity for the first time, the initial reaction is turning a blind eye. The onset of new abuse is often ignored. For example, Big Tech’s attack on the “old normal” has been happening for years but prior to COVID, very few wanted to think about that. I am speaking from experience. I was in the “anti-big-tech activism” space prior to 2020. (“Activism” is a dirty word today, and understandably so, but that’s what it was called at the time).

Anyway, the typical reaction from good people to my critique of Google was, “Oh it’s just progress, don’t be a luddite.”

It was all good and fun until 2020, not so fun after that. But as much as I wish more people had believed me back in the day, I think it is natural for benevolent people living good lives to assume benevolence on the part of others — and unless the invader comes “knife first,” we naively assume that other people (including our dear political and corporate leaders, lol) mean well. And so, at first, we ignore the harms. And then, we often turn to denial.

But then comes a point in time when the harm becomes impossible to ignore, and that’s when start “updating” our intellectual understanding of the world and admit, with great pain in our hearts, that, yes, we are violated and abused. And that’s when grief comes.

Dealing With Grief

Dealing with grief is not easy. Here are some of the things that help:

Being honest about your sense of loss and allowing yourself to scream to the skies at the top of your lungs and pray from the heart, using child’s words — without any beatification of language, speaking as you feel.

Keeping at it (both the prayer and trying to understand the “whys”) until your practical tasks at hand and the overall path become clearer (and not giving up even if it takes years).

Remembering at all times that tough experiences are a “training mill” for the soul, opportunities to get stronger and stronger and eventually become so strong and fearless that fear itself will run away. Oftentimes, when we look back at a difficult time in our life, we cannot help but exclaim: “Wow, it makes sense now, wow! I know why I had to go through this! I am strangely grateful … and the pain is gone.”

Being open to changing our minds about how the world works.

Pondering if our experiences are similar to what our ancestors had to deal with in the past, and looking to them for inspiration on what to do now.

Doing everything with love.

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I would like to particularly comment on last bullet point. “Doing everything with love” is not a recommendation to suppress your questions or your cries. It is more of a recommendation to include in your prayers a request to strengthen your faith in good things and to guide you how to see the light in the middle of darkness and how to do everything from a place of love and self-love, under your concrete circumstance.

“Doing things with love” is a very imperfect description for being a grounded warrior. Being calm and grounded in a passionate desire to do what’s right by the spirit (however you feel it) helps us receive more spiritual help along the way. It is harder to receive support while one is overtaken by negative feelings, such as anxiety, anger, or fear.

It may sound abstract but in my own life, I have found that praying to strengthen my faith and for guidance to do things from love is one of the most practical things I can do. Somehow, love cuts through darkness and gives us the wings that the dark individuals try to take away.


I believe that even the most ridiculous circumstance is life’s way to “walk” us where we need to be. It is much easier to fight the good fight from a place of calm, strength, and confidence in our right to joy.

Letting ourselves feel grief when we are abused is natural, it’s a cleanse for the soul. It is good to cry to the skies and ask for help. But with patience and perseverance, sooner or later, pain will pass, and the scars will heal. Our destination is where we left from, it’s joy.

About the Author

To find more of Tessa Lena’s work, be sure to check out her bio, Tessa Fights Robots.